Moustache

How much does a
Moustache Weigh?

In 2007 I did Movember. I hated the whole moustache growing experience so much I vowed never to do it again. Between 2007 and 2013 I stacked on 10kg. After a while, I had the realisation that these two things might just be related.

Could my constant shaving have driven my moustache inwards?

Movember 2013 from Dave Willis on Vimeo

To test my theory I took part in Movember 2013, weighing myself before I started and then again at the end of Movember after I'd shaved off my newly grown mo'.

During the moustache cultivation period I stimulated growth by:

1. Lifting heavy things (because that’s MANLY),
2. Limiting my intake of substances that would stop me operating heavy machinery (because operating heavy machinery in MANLY)
3. Ditching large lattes in favour of straight espresso (because that will put hair on your…lip)
4. Eating less, as the body’s survival instinct is to stimulate moustache growth so that more crumbs can be caught and retained.
5. Doing good things in the community (because that’s gentleMANLY!)

Amazingly, after shaving I was 6kg lighter, adding empirical credence to my in-grown moustache theory.

I intend to repeat the experiment this year, possibly with an expanded sample size.

Please note that I do not recommend growing beyond one month as the extra weight on the front of the head may cause serious musculoskeletal issues in the neck.